What keeps me up at night: the missing blackboard assignment I forgot to turn in or if I left the stove on?

 Hello everyone,

Picture this: The time is 10:15 pm and I begin winding down to get a good nights rest. Mind you... I drank my calming tea, read the Bible, said my prayer, watched my tik tok all to have a good night. I lay up in my soft sheets that probably need to be washed because I am mysteriously getting acne in my neck. Or that could just be poor genetics (thanks Dad). I close my eyes...THEN SUDDENLY I AM WIDE AWAKE AND AS I CHECK THE TIME ON MY PHONE...IT IS 1 am. 

What is keeping Ms. Kitty up all night?

I have a huge list of things but I have decided to narrow it down to 3 things:

1. School 

2. Todays Music

3. Iris from The Holiday (2006)

Let us analyze.

1. School: In order to understand why school keeps me up at night, allow me to paint the picture of how it looks. My school and its art department looks strikingly concerning. You ever read that book in middle school about the woman and the yellow wall paper. Yeah, the department (fancy word for basement) has yellow walls when you first enter. And like the lady in the book, I naturally want to begin to tear into the yellow color as I loose all control of my sanity. No. But the yellow wall is not the thing that keeps me up. It's the people. You see...(sighs) art kids are a different breed. There is a reason that we are in the basement and not somewhere with too many windows. It's cause of the personalities all mixing into one. For example, you have your Cool Art Kids (you know who you are) the ones that know they are good at art and are not afraid to point out when someone is clearly lying about their capabilities. We all know that one student who says "it's just my art style" when in reality it's giving "I am a Picasso/Warhol wannabe." Like girl, your art clearly looks bad so stop trying to gaslight yourself into thinking the contrary. 

Then you have your Dungeons and Dragons art kids. The ones that always give the same vibe as a wet napkin. The ones that quote Minecraft twitch players. Or the ones that wear questionable merch from a YouTuber that has been canceled way too many times. You have your "I am just here for the credit" art kids. Lastly, you have the ones who are "bad at art but were always told they were good" art kids. It also keeps me up at night that not one visitor who comes to see our art department is impressed. Cause do you not see the occasional tumbleweed floating about the basement from all its loneliness? I know I do. Not just the art department, but there are some people that do keep me up at night from school who (pushes hair behind ear) got me feeling something (as in they make me violently ill). In school, there are a lot of attention seekers who claim they are funny and interesting...when in reality the only thing intriguing about them is their obsession with a certain city. IYKYK. I could keep going on an on about why this art department keeps me up and more specifically who...but let me cut it short!

2. Today's Music: Let me be real frank...the music today is bad. I mean...super bad. Cause why are the same songs on repeat? Why is the radio so boring that I am forced to use my aux cord that is on its last breath? I remember one night I was trying to fall asleep and in order to do so... I began to play my spotify. I gave the new songs on radar a chance because I was telling myself "Jeez, they can't be that bad." Boy I was wrong. There is this song that is new that I cannot stand called "Beautiful Things" by Benson Boone. Like you know it's bad when SNL makes a 5 second mention on it in one of their sketches. That song, I swear, is in every tik tok ad that is trying to talk to you about why you should buy their sweatpants that come from the evil sweat shops. The lyrics of today's music lack depth. Who needs heartfelt lyrics when you can just abracadabra your way out of it? Who needs a song about feeling uplifted in these times of distress when you got Dance Monkey? And who needs to write songs about true love and sacrifice when you got Make His Pockets Hurt by Lil Kayla? 

My Dad grew up a jazz player (saxophone player) and always taught me about the true essence of what music should be. He always said that the music before was made by people who were vulnerable enough to create something different. I got into music because of him (just don't tell him that or else he will take too much credit for it). Every summer as a kid he would play salsa singers like Frankie Ruiz, Eddie Santiago, Oscar D'Leon. He would play intricate jazz by Cannonball Adderly, Frank Sinatra, and Harry Connick Jr. Music is meant to be something we can rely on and something we seek when we feel like life is getting to be all just too much. 

However, there is a sincere beauty in the music that was made before I was born. Amazing artists like Barbra Streisand whose rendition of What Are You Doing For the Rest of Your Life / New York State of Mind haunts my sleep from how beautiful they sound. June Cavlan who is a new artist sings so glamorously that Ella Fitzgerald would be proud. Listen to The Ladies Who Lunch by her and you won't regret it. People like The Searows, The Beaches, David Bowie, Imogen Heap, and Alicia Creti are the astonishing singers that keep me up at night. Their sound is so brilliant and their lyrics continue to truly inspire me. Omg... I just reread that portion I wrote and why am I giving "writer vibes." 

If you are getting tired of the new music today, here are some song recommendations that slap:

. Tell Him- Lauryn Hill

. Matringale- Searows 

. Dead Beat City- Kids That Fly 

. Salvatore (the bridge is chefs kiss)- Lana Del Rey 

. Edge of the Earth- The Beaches 

. Let Go- From Frou 

. From Eden- Hozier

. Everything She Wants- Wham! 

. 9-WILLOW/Sza 

. Moonlight in Vermont- Ella Fitzgerald/Louise Armstrong

. Anna Sun- Walk the Moon

. Love Is A Loosing Game- Amy Winehouse

. I'm Every Woman- Chaka Khan

. doomsday- Lizzy McAlpine

. Asleep- The Smiths

. She's Always a Woman- Billy Joel

. No. 1 Party Anthem- Arctic Monkeys

. Chemicals React- Aly & Aj

. Changes- David Bowie

3. Iris from The Holiday (2006): This movie is very important to me. Many people have told me that this movie doesn't matter because they see it as another 2000's rom com with a classic ending. Even though that might be true, to some extent, the characters mean so much to how we view love. For me, my favorite character in the movie is Iris. She is the beautiful British writer who just wants to be with the man who never saw her as someone important. She is the classic case of the unrequited lover. "The walking wounded" as she says in the movie. Throughout the entire film, all you see her do is dwell over the man that broke her heart but that she clings onto hoping he would soon open his eyes to notice her. I will admit that I am indeed an Iris. I have been the Iris in many stories and I guess it can derive from the idea that we are comfortable with feeling unseen that when someone finally sees us...we fall apart. Iris says in the film that she never feels like the leading lady in her life but more like the best friend. Let me just say... that is some honest writing. Have you ever felt like the side character and not the lead? If so, then you and I can relate to Iris. She does have a happy ending when she snaps and realizes the guy she feels unrequited love for will never change. The moral of her story is that if you are pinning over a someone, that is never a good sign that you should be with them. If you demonstrate to that person that you are way more into them, honey... it means they will never see you the same. So, like Iris, I had to let go of guys who were doing that because I found that it was all the same story. Iris is the reason I am up all night. 

 

Well, now that we have come to the end of today's post, I hope everyone gets a chance to listen to these songs because they do be slapping. Until next week...

Yours Truly,

Ms. Kitty