WE ARE OVER IT- Me and Ms. Kitty Senior

The time is 6:33 p.m and my mother decided to play one of our favorite comfort movies Rise of the Guardians. Now, like a normal human being who thinks she is the real life Letterboxd, I have some thoughts on this film and its characters. When I was a child, my mother and I loved watching this movie together because the plot was absolutely fun! When you are a kid, you don't really think much about the characters in the film but the experience you have watching the story play out. Now, as an adult, I watch this movie with lenses that are so different. Currently, 35 minutes into the film and I suddenly take notice of the easter bunny. You know? The one that is tall, V shaped body, mean personality, and is Australian? I don't know what kind of drugs Dreamworks were on, but that bunny makes me feel things. As I sit next to my mom, I tell her "Ma, why the bunny gotta be hella attractive?" She had that concerned look on her face like she knew her daughter was gonna say some shady things, and I was. "Like Mom, the bunny looks like he is about to pin me against the brick wall and tell me the craziest things." After I said that, my mom slowly reached for the remote, and paused. "Que dijiste?" I further explained that this bunny was the peak of every young persons sexual awakening. Like why does he have to be so sexual? She unpauses the movie, laughs, and we continue. "Mom, also, why does Jack Frost have such a rough voice? Like he could tell me to slow down and I would obey?" At this point, my mother was just giving me bombastic side eye. 

But Santa Claus? Like Santa Claus gives me the vibe of "you are my Russian princess and I will adore you forever."

Yeah so now I can't watch that movie anymore with my mother (Ms. Kitty Senior) who says that I just cause a deep discomfort from my innuendos towards the characters. 

Today, as you must have read in the title, WE ARE OVER IT! What are we over? So many things, but we are going to need the help of Ms. Kitty Senior. 

Over the years, I have been sick and tired of so many things like people not saying excuse me, coughing in public, hair in my food, people blasting the music in their old car with the windows down, and even loud chewers. Because I do not have all day to be talking about this, my mother and I have narrowed it down to a small list from both perspectives.

Ms. Kitty Sr’s List of Things She is Over (she wanted to do 4)

1. Fake Friends 

2. People who go to public bathrooms and “make a freakin mess”

3. Rude and Mean people

4. The people who compete on Instagram

Let us unpack all of this, mom you are first. 

Q: Why did you pick fake friends as your first thing you are over?

Because when you expect that they are good friends, at the end, they are trying to be you. They start copying you, they start taking your friends, and even going out without you...then you find out on someone else’s insta stories. Then, se ponen todos envidiosos when you have something. If you go on vacation, they also go on a vacation. They never give you a compliment when you do something good, and they’re watching your every move. Not one friend will invite you anywhere as they talk behind your back. Clock em mom

Q: What about the public bathrooms that are making you feel so over it?

I am so over it because every time I go to one, the women’s, I find it is dirty, smells disgusting like if we live in freakin jail, they don’t flush the toilet. There is toilet paper everywhere! They take their big ass dumps instead of taking that business in their house. The mirrors are dirty and we don’t even have soap. The freaking hand dryers, estan todas puercas...it’s like a freakin jail. That’s it.

Q: Mom, I know you don’t like rude people but can you elaborate?

 People will bump into you and they don’t even say excuse me. If you shop in a store, the clearance, they hunt you alive. They go right next to you wanting to push you away, they are freaking crazy... it’s as if they are following you. They are on the phone with the full speaker on, and being too loud as if they were the only ones in the stores...sharing the chisme. AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE FREAKING MOMS THAT TAKE THEIR KIDS TO THE STORE WITH KIDS WHO COMPLAIN ABOUT NOT GETTING WHAT THEY WANT. Then, they look at you if you were weird, they stare in a weird way. People don’t even smile anymore. When they drive, they beep at you as if they were actually important. People who are tailgating you are stupid. In the restaurant, PEOPLE ARE LOUD. Cuando tu estas comiendo, estan hablando bien fuerte y ya ni quieres comer. 

Q: What about the people who compete on Insta?

Everyone wants to be famous. You know? Even the people who don’t have crap. They try to post everything they do as if it was a diary. THEY POST EVERYTHING EVEN THEIR PLATES OF FOOD. They make it seem as though their life is perfect. They post about how their marriage is perfect when in reality your husband is following insta models. Ya sabes quien eres. They like to brag about how their kids are so smart, mija, you need to help your kid grow emotionally. They post about working out when in reality they do not care about their physique too much. Andan posting sus Starbucks cup cuando ni tienen comida en la casa. Es la verdad. All these women who compete who think they have the biggest house, who think their crap is from pottery barn, mija, tus cosas son de la Walmart. They don’t have money. 

                                                           Now, my turn...💋

1. Stanley Cup girls: Listen, I am all about supporting women and their niches. But, come onnnn. You're telling me that you just decided to carry around an $80 water bottle just for an aesthetic? The way that I have seen multiple tik toks about those Stanleys breaking easily is crazy. And I'm not talking about those girls who are low key about their bottles, I am referring to the girls on tik tok who makes videos saying Let's get my Stanley cup ready for me to use when I go out. The video includes the Stanley having a keychain, its own purse, and its very own social security number. Then, why those girls have the orangest tan alongside blonde hair that looks brighter than my ambitions? On top of that, these girls are not self aware. You're telling me that you don't realize that having a Stanley cup got you acting all different? And to all those who are friends with one of these girls: do you not say anything to them? If I saw my friend making her Stanley cup her personality, I would just schedule an intervention cause home girl goin crazy. For those girls who have one and are cool about it, I see you and let me give you some advice: stay away from the girls who have bleached hair who skipped the step of using purple shampoo. If they skipped that step, that means they have a Stanley cup. Run amiga. 

2. Men who work at Best Buy: I recall walking into a Best Buy when I needed a specific cord for a 2010 laptop that I wanted to reboot. Yes, a fun fact about me is that I like to work on old computers, I think it is super fun to understand the motors, software, etc. Okay, I walk into the store and it seems as though all the workers are afraid of talking to a customer. I was searching for someone to talk to and they just all ran the other direction. In that moment I thought, what in the evil vibe am I giving off? Why are all the villagers scared of me...who am I the town ogre? No offense Shrek love you down. After searching 40 days and 40 nights, a decent 47 year old man decided to help me. "Sir, do you mind helping me find a USB cord for my 2010 dell laptop, it has a specific head. First, this man looked at me like I just asked him to complete a physics equation. Second, not only did his breath smell but he said "I can't help you with that because I don't know much about computers." Jaw to the floor, what did you just say? Why are you even working here? Aren't you supposed to have a good extended knowledge of CORDS? He then says "Well, let me see if Tony is on call cause he may know more about computers than I." Guys, didn't he just say that he did not know anything about computers? Now Tony who sounds like he's from the Sopranos is gonna make me more confused. "Okay, thank you," I said. Tony arrives who is sweating from his armpits down his back told me that Best Buy doesn't carry those cords. Didn't the first guy say you could help me Tony? Why bring me to Tony if the first one said you could help me? I get a bit frustrated and said "where can I find it though?" Do you wanna know what he said? "Sure, we can check if Best Buy sells it online." Tony, you ain't the one...okay!? So, Best Buy men who work there know only about TV's and nothing else. Don't ask for help, just search for it yourself cause the customer service there..... ass.

3. Associates who work in the bougie stores and don't leave you alone: Lets start with Ms. Kitty Senior's point of view. Mom, what is it about these bougie stores and the incessant need to help customers that makes you feel over it? Porque no ves agusto! And when you go to the perfume section, you just want to browse.....and now everyone is attacking you. They want to help you but then you say "no thank you" y te ven cara de pobre. You wanna see the expensive shoes and you can't even. go near it porque they look at you and say "she probably don't got money to buy it." And don't even go near the Gucci shoes cause they see you like you don't have any money. Olvidate. Major te vas al H&M clearance porque no te queda de otra. My point of view is that the associates mean well, but all I am trying to do is just browse! I can't when they are also low key being racist. Like I pick up a pair of cute shoes and some lady named Rhonda thinks I'm gonna shove it down my bra. Like....I know I gotta lot of space, but please do not think I am the one you should be eyeing. I have seen that these associates are also not taking no for an answer. They think that by taking a sample of a product, I will buy it in the end. I know I am never gonna come back and buy it so why would I contact you Sally in case if I made that purchase? It's the pressure I do not enjoy and the prejudices towards me. 

Also, have you guys ever seen the lore behind Jack Frost and Elsa? Was I the only one to see those fan edits? They were so good and now with AI they are getting way too realistic? Leave a comment down below if you have seen it, I just wanna know. 

Mom, any last rant about today's topic that you wanted to mention? "Estas son las cosas that I am over, what about you guys in the audience?"

You heard it here folks... let Ms. Kitty Senior know what you are over.