The warm hug you needed

The time is 4:01 and I recently finished the movie Shrek 2. I love the entire franchise because it reminds me of sweet nostalgia and of times where being a kid was so simple. One of my favorite parts of the movie is when Fiona wants to revert back to an ogre because she saw how much Shrek was willing to sacrifice in order for her to be happy. The moral of the story (or of the Shrek franchise) is to get you a man like Shrek. Sorry for the mini rant, but I had to :)

For this weeks blog, I wanted to write about something that was emotionally important to me. The idea of not wanting to talk about anything. What do I mean by that? Well, have you ever been asked about your day (knowing that you had a crappy one) and you just did not feel like talking about it? I, like many other people, am a HUGE victim of this. The truth is I simply do not want to talk about anything. There is so much stress in our life whether it is at school, at work, or home...where those settings just suck the life out of us. Now, many can ask "Isn't it because you make it that way?" I had someone ask me that one time and I responded "Well, I am not a hermit crab, I must socialize." At the time, I meant it in a way that whatever situation I am in I needed to interact with others...or give them as much of my energy as I can. 

Or so I thought...

The thing is when I do not feel well emotionally or whatever it might be...I simply do not have to talk about it. I realized that the mentality I used to have "oh I have to give it my all emotionally" is not a good one to follow. It is not everyday where I am going to feel like myself and society can pressure you to feel you always have to be "on." That is actually unfair to those who suffer from mental health disorders. For example, you wouldn't tell a depressed person "cheer up it can't be that bad." It would be ignorant to assume also that when you go to school...that you have to socialize with your friends. I know that days where I am not doing so well...the last thing I want to talk about is how I feel. So I simply do not have to talk about anything. It is what's best for me and my peace. 

FAQ: What if my friends are mad at me because I am not as talkative with them because of how I feel?

You wanna know the truth?

Those ain't your friends. Your friends are the ones that:

- do not take it personally

- when you explain to them that you need a day to yourself, they don't get mad

- they are understanding

- And they are always ready to listen to you

If your friends react badly to you not wanting to talk about anything or about having a bad day...those people are not your friends. They are against you. They are not emotionally mature enough to recognize that you are not always going to be the person they see everyday. But, this is just my personal opinion, of course every friend group is different. 

FAQ: But, what about my family? Why do they make me feel bad whenever I just don't want to talk about my day? 

Listen to me closely: Your family...in all seriousness...just wants to see you okay. When you do not tell them how you are feeling, it instills worriment that they feel they need to resolve. I struggle with this also. But remember that your parents, brothers, sisters, cousins are not your therapists. So you do not have to feel compelled to tell them anything. HOWEVER, I do say you need to give them a heads up. For example, "hey, I am not feeling too well and I would love if I could just get a minute to myself for today." That's all. Nothing more. Just give yourself as much time as you need while also informing them of what is necessary to hear. 

I know that many of you're are struggling with whatever problems you are enduring, but please be patient with yourself. You are a human being who is learning how to grow in this messed up society and it would be best to give yourself room to grow. 

Keep that chin up... keep going. 

Ms. Kitty says you are gonna be fine.